Signing the marriage amendment petition

Since Bishop Sheridan wrote his editorial (June 9 issue) urging folks to sign petitions for federal and state marriage amendment acts that define marriage as the union between one man and one woman, we have received a small batch of letters disagreeing with him but none supporting him. Perhaps silence equals consent, but I admit that I am surprised I have yet to receive one letter in support of him. Here is a sample of the letters I received against the petition, which I ran in the latest Herald:

In the June 9 edition, Bishop Sheridan asks Catholics and all people of good will to "stand firmly in favor of protecting marriage for the good of children and of society as a whole" by signing a petition to place a marriage protection amendment on the ballot in Colorado. I will not sign this petition, and I also urge you not to sign.

My husband and I have been partners in a union recognized by civil and church law for 10 years. We have one child and are members of St. Mary’s Cathedral Parish. Our family is under attack, but these attackers have names like "lack of affordable health care and child care," "reduced funding for public schools," and "the necessity of two incomes to afford a modest home, fund retirement and our daughter’s education." The American family is under attack, but the bishop is off the mark in naming the attacker.

I fail to understand how allowing same-sex life partners to join in civil unions will attack my family and marriage. None of Bishop Sheridan’s arguments in support of the petition are convincing on a theological, philosophical or legal basis. In attempting to paint a picture of what civil unions for same-sex partners could mean for
me, the bishop raises images of multiple-partner marriages, bestiality, a state-mandated requirement for churches to hold marriage liturgies for same-sex couples and loss of tax-exempt status for non-compliant churches, all in one emotionally charged article. Was the article based in facts and convincing to this Catholic? Not in the least.

Let’s open our eyes. In spite of being under duress, healthy families exist and many of them have same-sex heads of household. When more than half of all civil unions and church-blessed heterosexual unions end in divorce — one of the primary
reasons for children living in poverty — don’t Coloradoans have a vested interest in affirming rather than discriminating against healthy relationships and families? It’s just good public policy.

My family is my greatest joy, and I wish for same-sex families the same civil rights that I take for granted with my partner. Please, let’s open our eyes, minds and hearts and affirm healthy families. Yes, be a person of good will and choose not to sign the petition to place a marriage protection amendment on the ballot.

I disagree with her arguments, particularly the common "so many heterosexual marriages end in divorce, so..." justification. That is often the cop-out used by people to justify cohabitation, divorce, etc... Among the reasons I find heterosexual marriage in huge trouble is: because the divorce scandal of the last four decades that has scarred its children into being scared of permanent commitment; because of weak marriage preparation programs that basically assume, accept and fail to confront (and possibly reject) a couple that is sleeping together (and likely contracepting) before marriage; and because of the widespread use of pornography and contraception both inside and outside of marriage that has caused many women to give up hope that they will ever be looked at as anything other than sex objects and has caused men to flee the coup and seek "greener grass" whenever they hit a challenge in their marriage. There is a huge problem with understanding and embracing the cross in marriage, not that the Catholic Church's teachings on marriage are wrong. There is enough evidence out there to prove that the Catholic Church has been right all along about its teachings on marriage.

There is so much more that can be said on the issue of same-sex unions and why the Church teaches it cannot be equated with heterosexual marriage. But I want to hear your thoughts...

[UPDATE: I neglected to mention that I have received several phone calls supporting the bishops' stance. I just haven't received any letters.]